Some gags.....

What do you call a deeply burnt food item in your lunch that is not recognizable?
UFO: Unidentified Fried Object.

Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.
Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn't he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.

Wife: Why do you wear your specs only when I come in.
Husband: The doctor has ordered me to wear my specs whenever I get an headache.

Teacher: What is the first month?
Student: January
Teacher: What is the second month?
Student: February
Teacher: What is the tenth month?
Student: Delivery

Interviewer: How does a scooter run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr........
Interviewer shouts: Stop it!!
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhupp dhupp dhupp dhupp…………

Salesman told to a Customer,”Sir this PC will cut your work load by 50%.”
Then the customer told, “That is great! O.K. I will buy two of them.”

TEACHER: PAPPU, go to the map and find North America. PAPPU: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: PAPPU!

There is a clock in the heaven. Every time u lie, its needle moves. Mother Teresa's clock never moved... Gandhiji's moved one....And ours,
God is using it as table fan.....

An old lady died and the family gathered for the reading of her will.
Being of sound mind,the attorney read...
I spent all the money before I died.

Height of Racism:
A little white kid goes and stands between two black kids and says..."Look mommy..OREO Biscuit".

3 sardar's were sleeping on one bed...
They could not adjust properly,one of them goes down and sleeps..
After some time the 2 sardar's call the 3rd one and says that "Come there is space over here.

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That's terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Santa (reading from book of facts): Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?
Banta: Why don't you use a mouth wash?

2 People looking at Egyptian mummy.
1st:Look so many bandages, guaranteed truck accident case.
2ns: Right, see even the number of the truck, BC- 781!!!

Teacher: How Old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born!

A man phones the librarian at the middle of the night.
Librarian picks the phone."What is it?"she asked.
."When will the library open?"
"9 am tommorow"said librarian
quite annoyed."Not any sooner?"He asked
"No"she said."What's the hurry to get in anyways''.
He said,"Who told you about getting in , I want to get OUT".

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